Thursday, May 8, 2014
Society
can only judge you so far. People just like wild animals fear for themselves
(their well-being). That is the reason why we constantly spread rumors in our
neighborhoods, workplaces and vacation spots about people who don’t share the
same values we have grown up to accept or have formulated.
The real reason self
esteem comes up is because we judge ourselves so much more than we are judged,
we create a negative picture of ourselves much bigger than the society paints
us. Self esteem is strongly built on the feeling of inadequacy.
Negative life events such as losing your job or getting divorced,
deficient or frustrating relationships, and a general sense of lack of control
can really fuel it. This sense of lack of control is often particularly marked
in people who are the victims of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, or of discrimination on the grounds of religion, culture, race, sex, or sexual orientation.
Sometimes poor self-esteem can be deeply rooted and have its
origins in traumatic childhood
experiences such as prolonged separation from parent figures, neglect, or emotional,
physical, or sexual abuse. If you think this is a particular problem for you,
speak to a mental healthcare professional. Therapy or counseling
may enable you to talk about such experiences and to try to come to terms with
them. Unfortunately, therapy or counseling may be difficult to obtain, and may
not be suitable for everyone.
Thankfully, there are a number of simple things that anyone can do
to boost his or her self-esteem and, hopefully, break out of this vicious
circle. You may already be doing some of these things, and you certainly don't
need to do them all. Just do those that you feel most comfortable with.
1. Make three lists:
one of your strengths, one of your
achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get
a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe
place and read through them regularly.
Have you ever seen a TV commercial being aired like twenty times
a day? Why do they repeat it so much you may ask? The reason why is to remind
you that what they are selling is the best. I you go to the mall I guarantee
that you will buy that product or service. These lists act like the commercial
and repeatedly going through them continues to fix it in your mind that you are
special and finally your self esteem will automatically go up.
2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your
problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you
deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative
thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do
anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.
3. Pay special
attention to your personal hygiene: for example, style your hair, trim your
nails, floss your teeth.
This can be seen it tV commercials.
What category of advertisements do you see most of the time when you turn on
the tv? I bet the most favored category is based of health and hygiene. You
always see soap commercials, dental hygiene commercials, hair product and salon
commercials. You might have not noticed this but there is a pattern to these
advertisements. People usually buy these products not only to boost their hygiene
but also subconsciously to feel better about themselves.
4. Dress in clothes that make you feel
good about yourself.
When you’re walking on the streets have you ever seen
somebody that with clothes that you really like? Maybe it had a certain pattern
or colors that attracted you to it. What is the feeling that goes into your
brain at that particular time? You think “those
clothes might look good on me”. Why do you think that? It is because you want people to look at you in the same way you
think they might look at that person – in a way that suggest I want to be that
person.
This comes to the conclusion that you should always dress the way
you want people to see you. This will always make you feel good about yourself.
5. Don’t be the
dog in the relationship. The dog as we all know is man’s best friend. But as we progress in
life the human looks at the dog’s inability to achieve but still considers it
equal. Is this a bad thing? Yes, the dog feels comfortable in its
under-achiever position while the human feels comfortable in his ability to be
better than the dog and still receive love from it.
6. Eat good food as part of
a healthy, balanced diet. Make meal times a special time, even if you are eating alone.
Turn off the TV or radio, set the table, and arrange your food so that it looks
attractive on your plate.
7. Exercise regularly: go out for a brisk walk every day, and take
more vigorous exercise (exercise that makes you break into a sweat) three times
a week.
8. Manage your stress levels. If possible, agree with a close
friend or relative that you will take turns to massage each other on a regular
basis.
9. Make your living space clean, comfortable, and attractive.
Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and
people in your life.
10. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one
thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.
11. Get involved in activities such as painting, music, poetry,
and dance. Such artistic activities enable you to express yourself,
acquire a sense of mastery, and interact positively with others. Find a class
through your local adult education service or community center.
12. Set yourself a challenge that you can realistically achieve,
and then go for it! For example, take up yoga, learn to sing, or cook for a
small dinner party at your apartment or house.
Doing these simple things relax your
mind taking your focus off the negative things that diminish you self esteem.
14. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a
conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get
involved with a local charity.
15. Get others involved: tell your friends and relatives what you
are going through and enlist their advice and support. Perhaps they have
similar problems too, in which case you might be able to band up and form a
support group.
16. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear. At
the same time, try to enlarge your social circle by making an effort to meet
people.
17. On the other hand, avoid people, places, and institutions that
treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being
more assertive. If
assertiveness is a problem for you, ask a healthcare professional about
assertiveness training.
1. “Build something you believe in”
What do you scheme the most? What do you dream of doing? What is that thing you want to do and might be too embarassed to tell your friends or family. That is your purpose. Struggle with it til you get it right plus never fear what others might say, and if you do read 5 reasons why you haven't achieved your goals yet.
2. “Aim to be the best in the market not just better.”
Yes — in today’s society we collectively create amazing products,
services and companies through entrepreneurship. Dig
deep and decide right now to build something radically different and radically better.
3. “Prepare to be copied. Don’t
start unless you’ll survive imitation.”
If your idea is truly radical and takes off, you can count the
minutes before the copy-cats arrive. How will you survive competition from the
big 800-pound gorillas on the block? Or even from the upstart little guys? Your
key is a system of ‘continuous innovation’.
4. “Build up reserves of money and
energy for bad luck and mistakes.”
Great advice — but sometimes extremely difficult to do. What
startup or growth company has reserves of cash sitting around? But Goldman and
Nalebuff make a good point — run as lean as you possibly can and do not waste
money or energy. You will endure mistakes and bad luck along the way, so having
a good war chest full of capital and energy can help handle it.
5. “Never, ever give up control —
until you sell.”
Some high-impact entrepreneurs will readily give up control in
exchange for the lure of high-growth through venture capital — but I am not one
of them. Relinquish control and you risk losing the culture and vision of the
company you set out to build. Even though Honest Tea raised investment capital
from the beginning, the co-founders always remained in the driver’s seat. (And
yes — Goldman can still drive his vision as CEO of Honest Tea, but his boss at
Coca-Cola can say ‘no’ at anytime. Thus, true control is forever gone.)
6. “Don’t compromise on the big
things — compromise on everything else.”
Vision. Purpose. Core values. Write these things in stone and
never budge. But flexibility in the value propositions, products and services
you build to execute your purpose is vastly important. Many entrepreneurs I see
fail to ‘bend to the market’ by adapting to what their customer’s are telling
them.
7. “Figure out how to achieve your
goals on a tiny budget — then cut that number in half.”
Yes — you’ve heard it said before — it will cost twice as much,
and take twice as long as you think. My recommendation is you apply the
principles of lean to your business from day one. No fancy offices. No fancy
full color brochures. Your goal is to stay alive until you can nail your secret
formula for success. Blowing the budget will insure nothing but a quick death.
8. “It’s a marathon, not a
sprint.”
Is it ever. Building a business is neither for the faint of heart
or the speed demon. Climbing Mt. Everest is not done in 3 easy steps: 1.)
decide you want to do it, 2.) fly to Nepal with zero preparation, 3.) sprint
straight up the mountain in 12 easy minutes. Build systems for the long-haul
and focus on small-connected steps. (It takes 26,364 steps of 7″ each to climb
Mt. Everest, and that’s starting from half way up at Basecamp.)
9. “Take care of your family,
personal and spiritual health — if you aren’t laughing or smiling on a regular
basis, recalibrate.”
Imagine the path to a wildly successful business: founder working
at a feverish pitch for 18 hours each day, for at least 5 years straight. True?
No, it’s not. In my private conversation with Goldman, he flat-out told me two
reasons he made it through the rough years: first — he believed in his purpose,
second — his drive for personal balance. The notion we need to kill our family
relationships, personal health or level of sanity to build our own business is
sadly misaligned. Take it from me — don’t go there.
10. “Build the enterprise and the
brand as if you’ll own them forever.”
Will you sell your business someday? Maybe. Should that be the
sole reason you are building it? Probably not. When you start and build a
business based on passion and purpose, with a burning desire to solve the pain
of your customer through the deliverance of monetizable value, you build a far
more valuable enterprise. Those in it for the short-term quick buck rarely
succeed.
Plaster these 10 rules from Goldman and Nalebuff to your mirror,
live by them everyday of your life as an entrepreneur and you might end up as
successful as they.
Everybody
wants to be somebody someday. If you have realized your purpose in life then you should take the necessary steps towards your goals. However in life you will always have speed bumps that will reduce your pace of determination. Today i will highlight just five of the major distractions.
1. You constantly seek approval from others
You
might be the type of person who constantly thinks of the outcome before you
carry out an activity. I'm sorry to tell you this but this kind of behavior
will ruin you.You are basically programming yourself to accept commands from
others subconsciously.The worst part is they don't even realize they are giving
you any commands (works kind of like a computer virus).
Always
remember that you came into this world alone and sorry to burst your bubble but
that is how you will also leave.
No
matter how much you are in love or in sync with your partner or friends you
will always make different decisions and choices, that is why arguments erupt
all the time, your individuality wants to speak. Be bold take a step on your
own and see what happens next.
2.
You fear prying eyes
Just
like in the animal kingdom we will always be weary of danger around us, but
some people heighten these limits of danger. You might be too scared of what
your neighbors might think you decided to buy that brand new Porsche that
you always had your eye on.Chances are they already talk negatively about your
current car, love life, children, relationship with them and many more things.
Everyday
we live the thinner the ice below our feet becomes, learn to focus a little
more on yourself and your happiness before you sink into the frozen waters of
the unknown.
3.
You procrastinate too much
This
is the reason why many people go to their graves before being recognized for
their significant contribution to the society. You might have the gift of ideas
and can make an app 100 times better than any in existence but due to over
thinking which is the foundation of procrastination and comparing your idea to
all the greats you will almost always never make a move or at least that which
is noticeable.
Stop
comparing your ideas to the greatest in the market. Be a little crazy, deploy
your idea and let the society do the rest. who knows you might be the next
billionaire.
4.
You only trust existing patterns
Are
you the type of person who discourages people when they say they want to open
an entirely new business that does not exist or releasing a product that has
not undergone extreme market testing? Chances are that you are an intelligent
person. Intelligent people naturally fear making un-calculated moves, they
might see your idea as a gamble and stick to what they are sure works and has
worked for a number of years.
If
you want to achieve the un-achieved, learn to live outside your comfort zone.At
least try one "dumb" idea and see where it leads you. Don't be too
afraid to fail, you might think people will look at you in a worse off angle
when you fail but keep in mind this is not true. People are more likely to appreciate
your effort rather than perfection. That is the same reason people like magic.
We are naturally wired with the desire to see other people try something out of
the ordinary "normal routine".
5.
Your focus is scattered
You
might think that trying our hand in several things will give you a wide variety
of outcome fast. Strain to know your limits know exactly how many projects you
can handle at once. If it is too much pressure for you reduce that number and
try on a lesser scale. We are engineered to deal with different kinds of
weights if you stretch yours too far you will eventually lose.
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